Italian Injustice

So I just finished a new book and I should've seen this coming. After losing sleep - either by being held captive, unable to stop reading, or by choosing to reading a true murder story right before bed - I've finally finished Waiting to Be Heard by Amanda Knox.

I don't know where I was when this worldwide sensation of a trial was happening. Both Italian and American medias apparently fed on this thing like parasites. Guess I didn't care much for current events in my sophomore year of college. Anyway, I'm more than caught up now and I'm obsessed. I didn't want the story to end. I have a pile of books on deck just waiting to be read, but I'm literally taking a grace period just to let Amanda's story marinate. It keeps running through my head. I got five hours of sleep last night after a marathon of her YouTube interviews, and I don't regret a thing.

This girl was steamrolled. I genuinely can't imagine being in her shoes. The absurdity of her trial sounds like it can't possibly have happened in real life. I understand that, being an autobiography, this book is the definition of biased. However, I feel 100% confident that this girl didn't kill anyone. There's no evidence whatsoever proving what Amanda was indicted for, and the antics the prosecution pulled (and got AWAY with) are insane.

I now present you with a short manuscript meant to truncate the 4 year trial into its most basic, ridiculous form and smother it with as much mockery as possible. Almost no exaggeration necessary.

Prosecutor: Amanda, can you tell us what you were doing in Italy?

Amanda: I was so excited to be studying abroad! I grew up in Seattle but have always loved the Italian language, so I thought a trip overseas would be the perfect way to push my limits and jump out of my comfort zone in a beautiful foreign country!

Prosecutor: Cool, so why'd you kill your roommate then?

Amanda: What?! I didn't. I wasn't there that night. I was at my boyfriend's place. We ate dinner, watched a movie... I never left the apartment.

Prosecutor: Oh, you left.

Amanda: What? No, I said I didn't leave all night.

Prosecutor: Okay, you did though. Who was with you when you murdered Meredith?

Amanda: I didn't!!

Prosecutor: Yessss.......?

Amanda: No!

Prosecutor: But yes?

Amanda: No! I was never there. I have no idea what happened or who killed her.

Prosecutor: Cool, so you were there. Mark that on the record. Was it your boss Patrick that killed her with you?

Amanda: What?! No!

Prosecutor: Okay, so you and Patrick killed her. Perfect. Who else is guilty - your boyfriend? Yeah, yeah, he was there too.

Amanda: This is ludicrous.

Prosecutor: So you met up with Patrick that night. Yes? Patrick came with you, say it. Patrick. Patrick was there, come on... confess. Patrick? Patrick. Patrick. Patrick? Patrick and you. Killers. Patrick, yes? PATRICK! Patriiiiiiiii - (42 hours of interrogation later) - iiiiiiiick!!!!!

Amanda: Fine! God, shut up! I guess it might've been him....?

Prosecutor: A ha! Sign this.

Amanda: Wait!! I don't know why I said that. None of us were there. I have an alibi.

Prosecutor: No one cares. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.....


PRE-TRIAL

Amanda: I didn't do it. Don't know anything. I wasn't there.

Judge: Likely story. Jail immediately.


TRIAL

Prosecutor: Amanda's a she-devil, a real ho bag. She's sadistic and violent and sexually deviant and loves to kill people for fun.

Jury: Mmm hmm. Yep.

Prosecutor: She and her buddies killed Meredith.

Jury: Sounds like fact to us.

Prosecutor: This is the knife she used. I was looking through the drawer of the person I was trying to accuse & found a random knife in a pile of other kitchen knives. I feel like it's probably the one...  It's pretty sharp and could probably kill someone, so it killed Meredith. Irrefutable.

Jury: Yep, yep. We're with ya.

Prosecutor: Also she just looks like she probably did it. So....

Jury: Right. So she did.


CROSS EXAMINATION

Forensic Detective (Prosecutor's Witness): There's Amanda's DNA on the blade, too.

Defense: Oh, really? Can we see the tests that show that?

FD: Uhhhh.... my dog ate it.

Judge & Jury: Good enough for us. Aw... dogs are cute!

Defense: Did you do your job correctly, following protocol every step of the way?

FD: Of course.

Defense: So you didn't interrogate Amanda for 4 days, slap her, threaten her family, use leading questions, and neglect to read her her rights?

FD: Well....

Defense: You didn't wait weeks before thoroughly investigating the crime scene's DNA, move things around, test levels of DNA that are legally-speaking invalid, and use the same dirty gloves to contaminate every piece of evidence you touched?

FD: Uh.....

Defense: You didn't disregard and cover up multiple declarations of innocence by Amanda? You didn't then make up stories from your imagination that perfectly fit your theories and leak them to the press as fact?

FD: I mean......

Defense: You said some other guy's DNA was all over Meredith's body, room, house and belongings. And that his handprint and footprint made in her blood were found in the bedroom.

FD: Yeah.

Defense: Did you find ANY microscopic scrap of Amanda's DNA anywhere near Meredith or the crime scene?

FD: She probably washed it off before we got there.

Defense: So not only could she see the DNA with the naked eye, but she could discriminate between hers and this other guy's. Then she used her magic disappearing ink to get rid of only hers.

FD: Uhhhh. Well, we found her DNA in the bathroom they shared!!

Defense: Right. Seeing as though they SHARED the bathroom.

FD: Stop making sense. She killed her; everyone knows it.


CLOSING STATEMENTS

Defense: She didn't do it cause there's literally NO credible evidence or witnesses to speak of.

Prosecutor: She did it. We just have a feeling about this one.

Jury: Okay, 26 years in prison.

Thank God after 4 years of unjust imprisonment, Amanda won her appeal case and finally went home. All of their evidence was deemed invalid and improperly analyzed. Good riddance, ya stupid Italian judicial system. Basically they had an unbiased, actually-intelligent team of outside investigators come in and analyze the way all the evidence was collected in the first place. Turns out the prosecution team are a bunch of persuasive apes who had the media, and consequently the public, wrapped around their finger.

What's the Opposite of Bridezilla?

Well it's that time of year again, folks. Wedding planners are booked through the summer, florists are in high demand and engagement photos are abundantly sprinkled across everyone's News Feed. Save-the-Dates adorn the fridge of every house you visit. On any given rainy day, you can practically hear the bridezillas from coast to coast cursing the gods of fate and weather.

Weddings are a $50-billion-a-year industry. On average, 500 people are married in the U.S. every day. In short, they're a big deal. And I can understand it to a degree. I love the idea of a marriage and the meaning of it. I love celebrating the union of two people in a fun, fancy way that says "This is no ordinary day." I get why it's a much bigger deal that planning a family BBQ.

That being said, there is one overarching concept that I will never comprehend about weddings: cost.

Let's imagine for a second that a man and woman go on a leisurely afternoon trip to Target, spend $40,000, then head back home. That's essentially what your average engaged couple is doing. Out of context, who still thinks it sounds acceptable to see a year's salary spent in a matter of hours? It's one party one day.

I know I'm in the minority on this, having never imagined my wedding day as a little girl or scrawled my signature with different last names into a Lisa Frank Trapper-Keeper. But my future husband doesn't know how lucky he is. I'm about to save him a buttload of money.

Things I Refuse To Spend Lots of Money On
(Spoiler Alert: It's Most Things) 

1) My Dress

The large majority of brides are willing to pay at least a grand on the dress alone. Again I ask.... WTF? It's a dress. You'll absolutely only wear it once; that's not even arguable. I know the point is to look like you're a Disney fairy princess waiting outside the ball for your prince to whisk you off into your sunset. But you know what else is pretty? Another dress that's half the price. Here and now, I vow to drive up to the nearest discount bridal shop, stick an arm out and buy the first pretty ivory dress my fingers touch. I'll still look nice and I won't have to take a second mortgage out on my home.

2) The Bridesmaids' Dresses

These dresses all look the same. Usually strapless or with little straps, slightly pleated for some texture, then either knee or floor length. And the average price for these things is $250. I know Dolce and Gabbana make versions of this dress. I'm sure Christian Dior does too. You know who else does? The Target in the suburbs of Philadelphia. Not only will I be ordering $40 dresses for all my bridesmaids, I also plan on buying them for them. Who invented the modern grandiose wedding and put in the rule book: "Bridesmaids must buy their
own dresses"? If most women have hopped on board the Expensive Express and dropped a year's salary on their Special Day, why wouldn't the cost of the bridesmaids' dresses be included? You're effectively gathering around a handful of your closest loved ones and asking them, "Would you please be a part of my wedding? I would be honored to have you there by my side. You will? Wow, that's so wonderful. Okay, that'll be $250 for the dress, $50 for altering, $50 for the gift, $150 for the bachelorette party, another $50 for your part of the bridal shower....." No judgment towards those girls asking their bridesmaids to help by paying for their dresses; I know that's tradition. I just think there's room for some cutbacks here.

3) Venue

Who wouldn't want to be married in a solid gold mansion perched atop the French Alps? That sounds like a lovely place to recite one's vows. Unfortunately, my future fiance and I would have to offer a down payment of our entire life savings along with an annual interest of 50%, our first born, and my left leg. So ya know ... maybe we'll just find a nice meadow and sparkle it up like Bella & Edward. Or set up some towels on the prettiest dune in Ocean City, New Jersey. Sure, I'd like my ceremony to be in a nice-looking place that accommodates everyone, but I think there's room for cutbacks here too.

4) Flowers & Centerpieces

Pop quiz: Does an arrangement containing my weight in flowers brighten up a room? Yes, yes it does. Unfortunately, they're also super pricey and die within a week. I'll absolutely have flowers at my wedding but I plan on keeping the whole as minimalistic as possible. A couple of little bunches around the ceremony sound lovely and sure, bridesmaids, hold onto these bouquets. But I don't need to say "I do" in a bed of daylilies I planted and nurtured myself. And I don't need flower pots dangling from the ceiling or lining the rows of chairs. While we're simplifying everything & saving money, I also expect to make some cute, cheap centerpieces in one afternoon. Haven't thought it through entirely - if that wasn't already clear - but I'm picturing some table numbers I typed up in Microsoft Word, some plastic Dollar Tree fishbowls, and a few pics of me & my husband-to-be.

5) Save the Dates

Skipping them altogether. No, really. As soon as we're engaged, we'll figure out the venue & catering choices and you'll be getting your one and only invitation on cute cardstock. "Here's the date. Please come. Love you all!" Except classier choice of phrasing. The way I see it - no need to dole out the money for two rounds of invites. Let's spend that money elsewhere! Yay!

6) Cake

Let's face it - by the time the dessert course rolls around, everyone's out on the dance floor anyway. You might Electric Slide back to your assigned table to shovel a few forkfuls of raspberry butter creme down your throat before going back out to shake your groove thang. Thang? Is it thang or thing? Both are embarrassing and outdated? You're correct. Anyway, my master plan will be executed in steps. Step 1: Get a fake cake. Something that looks like an elegant masterpiece of fondant and icing swirls but is actually hollow

or stuffed with cardboard. Step 2: Have one real piece made if I feel like doing the "cut the cake" picture with my hubby. Might even skip this step. Step 3: Get a delicious and super cheap sheet cake from the lowest priced bakery in the area. Pre-cut everyone's slices from this cake beforehand and bring these out to everyone. Hundreds of dollars saved. Of course, there's the alternate plan which forgoes the cake altogether
and brings everyone out some cheap, sugar-filled, pretty, scrumptious cupcakes instead. Or this cake of a black woman.

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The list goes on and on. You get the picture. It's every woman's prerogative to plan and execute the wedding of her dreams. This is just one girl's perspective on her future plans. In case you're wondering if there's anything I would be willing to splurge on, the answer's yes. The photographer. To me, that's huge and a professional album is worth every penny. Also? Food.

Inspiring

Don't you love when something comes out of the blue and smacks you over the head? Changes your perspective on life?

This something had me bawling to myself at 2 in the morning. Intrigued? Keep reading.

Two nights ago, I was lying in bed checking a few more posts on Twitter before getting some sleep. (For the record, I created a Twitter with the sole purpose of reading about celebrities with more interesting, entertaining lives than my own. I'm acutely aware that no one cares about what kind of salad I had for lunch.)

Anyway, a random tweet caught my eye. I casually clicked a link and found myself immersed in a video for 20 minutes, frozen in place and crying harder than I have in a long time. It was the story of a boy named Zach. At 17, he was diagnosed with bone cancer. After months and months of chemo, radiation, pills, and surgeries, he was told the cancer had spread to his lungs and pelvis and he had only a few months left to live.

So Zach chose to stop all treatment and return home to spend his last days with the people he loves. He and his family came to accept his imminent death in the most beautiful, peaceful way. He even had a girlfriend who knew he was terminal when they started dating and she saw him through everything anyway.

Sadly he passed away two days ago, but the song he wrote for his family? #1 on iTunes. WHAT?! Not #20, not #5... The most downloaded song, blowing past hundreds of famous musicians and artists. That's amazing. Here are the thoughts I've been ruminating on since watching this incredible story (four or five times).

1. What a beautiful example of positivity, empathy and human connection that people would buy this amateur song, be moved by this guy's story, share it with others, and make it #1 on iTunes. I love when the bond that connects all of us peeks through the everyday sensationalism of the media.

2. What an incredibly beautiful human being this guy was. Always a smile on his face, boasting a motto of "Just make others happy". He managed to change the future plans that he had naturally created for himself (college, then marriage and kids with his equally amazing girlfriend) and accept the imminence of his death as another part of life. "It's only scary because you don't know what's coming next... or if there is a next. It's like sitting in the dark. You can be there freaking out about what's out there or you can just close your eyes and fall asleep."

3. I appreciate so much the opportunity to have my life put in perspective. It's like being recalibrated. Here I am, worrying about my goals and why I haven't reached them and what my future holds. And there Zach is, knowing he has no future and choosing to live every minute to the fullest. It's like going from the upper echelon of society to abject poverty and quickly learning the true value of a dollar. Others in his position may never learn it. They may spend the last part of their unfairly truncated life wallowing in self pity and cursing their fate. Not to say that these aren't natural reactions or that those people aren't just trying to cope and weave their own confusing path to acceptance, but hats off to Zach. Only 17 and living his life more fully than the majority of the healthy people around him.

Here's the doc. It's well worth watching. Below that is the music video where celebs sang his song for him.