Trial of the Century

Anyone who knows me well knows I'm a pretty easy-going person. Not many things ruffle my feathers in a big way. It's gotta be something big if I'm gonna go off about it... like violence towards children / animals, close-mindedness, and of course.... Casey Anthony.

The ironic thing is when this trial was at its height as a media sensation, I was at summer camp with no access to news, technology or television. But when I returned back to civilization in August, I made up for lost knowledge and read / watched every article and video I could get my hands on. And while I've generally gotten past this ridiculous piece of news, friends know not to bring it up because it's like igniting a flame. I once ranted myself into a headache... and I don't get headaches.

So while I'm aware that there's nothing funny about this case, I can't help but laugh at some aspects of it. Okay, the majority of it. If the defendant is gonna act like a fool, I think I'm entitled to pass judgment. Here is the infamous retelling of the 2011 Casey Anthony case from my perspective:

Phase One:  Casey and her kid Caylee are living with Casey's parents. One day Casey decides to up and travel a hundred miles without any reason and takes the kid with her. Naturally. Casey's parents call to catch up every day for a month and after 30 straight days of -  "Can we talk to Caylee?" "No, she's..... busy." - they finally ask her what happened to Caylee. Casey goes, "Oh, that's right. I forgot. The nanny kidnapped her a month ago." NBD.

Phase Two: The police get involved. They take her to Universal Studios and ask her to show them her office. I'm not sure where she thought this plan would work out, but she took the popo all the way to the end of some hallway at Universal Studios before spinning around and going "Okay, yeah I don't work here. Haven't in years." AWESOME. They ask who the baby-snatching nanny is. She names some woman, they call her, the woman's never heard of either of them. Casey goes, "Oh, right. Well I don't know then." They then search Casey's car and it smells like dead baby. NBD.

Phase Three: They ask Casey what's she been doing the last 30 days while her kid's disappeared. Turns out she's been doing what any normal, grieving mother would - putting up flyers, hosting search parties, alerting the police and crying all the snot out of her face. Oh no, WAIT. She was partying at the clubs & renting Blockbuster movies with her boy toy. NBD.

Phase Four: Casey hires an equally dishonest lawyer / acting coach to defend her in court. This man does a wonderful job at getting tears to fall from Casey's eyes, as well as crafting some story about, "Oh, actually Caylee drowned last year!" Man finds Caylee's bones in a bag in the woods by Casey's house. The jury considers the facts, which are by anyone else's standard an open-and-shut case, and finds her NOT guilty of four counts of murder. NBD.

Phase Five: Casey's livin' the American Dream, free as a bird, renting more Blockbuster movies whenever she pleases. Did I mention Casey said Caylee was a mistake? 'Ya don't say.....