Best Web Videos of All Time

Remember life before the Internet? Me neither. Not only can you find the answer to any question you have in less than ten seconds, you can also amuse yourself with never-ending, brainless entertainment. Seriously. Put me in an empty room with nothing but Wi-Fi and a laptop and I'll be happy as a clam for hours. Are clams particularly happy?

Anyway, I've collected my favorite web videos of all time. They've garnered millions of views, given us all a good laugh, served as the best procrastination tool, and dropped our IQs a few points in the process.

Kicking Monster Ask

This one came out my freshmen year of college and I replayed it every day for a month. The kid looks like Dora, first of all. More amazing is that she's three and has taken the necessary measures to make sure no monster will ever get in her way. Her attack plan is to simply "kick his ASK." Adorable. My favorite part is the look of disbelief she gives her mom. "That's not NICE? Listen, Ma, if he gonna come in here.... he gon' kick MY ask. So step off."

Charlie Bit My Finger

Just a simple video of some British children playing around in a La-Z-Boy. And yet, in less than a minute, this adorable little chap experiences the full spectrum of emotion. Everything from joy to confusion to pain to forgiveness. Lesson learned. Don't mess with baby teeth. "That really hurt, Charlie, and it's still..... hurting."

Push-Up Bra

I genuinely can't handle this one. From the second she starts speaking, I am crying laughing. This coming-of-age tale depicts a young woman on a personal journey to find her long lost love Peter. Her greatest obstacles include: 1) keeping her crusty-crust lips well hydrated, 2) drivers who are not "cansidedate" at ALL, 3) a little trick named Rachel who appears to be dating Peter, despite predictions that it's not going to "hoppin", 4) toe-up fires on Kawanga and Lankashire, and 5) social pressures to dip her hair in Kool-Aid and push up her breasts to appear more "white and educated".

Laguna Biyotch

Another one that makes me pee my pants. The greatest thing about this video is that it's not far off from the truth. In all seriousness, at its peak of popularity, MTV could've aired this as a new episode of Laguna Beach. It's conceivable that these spoiled California teenagers would throw a cowboy-themed party, get tired after decorating the room with one paper boot, and collapse on the couch for the rest of the episode. And for those who don't know, Jessica really is an idiot and is berated by all her friends on a daily basis. "JESS-KA! JESS-KA! JESS-KA!" "I'm coming in right now!" "Yeah, I SEE you."

Climbin' In Yo Windows

 Some guy's house was broken into, he told the news about it, then some guys on YouTube Auto-Tuned it. Sheer genius. It was a ridiculous segment to begin with and somehow was reborn into a song that won't leave your head for weeks. Stupid, sure... but catchy as hell.

Potter Puppet Pals

One word: HERRRRRRRRRRRR-MIONE!