Technology Takeover

I remember sitting in a Keyboarding class in 6th grade. The brand new "state-of-the-art" computers that sat before us were colorful Apple desktops with butts bigger than their hard drive capacity. We'd do some typing exercises, then play a pixelated version of Oregon Trail. (I could almost never ford the river without losing an oxen or giving someone dysentery.) Then we'd move on to CAPPS class where we made one of the greatest technological advances of our time: a PowerPoint. No, I mean I literally spent three months making a PowerPoint on chimpanzees. Then we'd save our progress on these thin plastic squares called floppy disks (not floppy in the least). We genuinely thought we were doing work parallel to NASA's.

Now, not only can an 10-year-old make a PowerPoint accidentally in their sleep, but if I handed him a floppy disk he would use it as a case protector for his iPod Touch.

I'm so grateful that I was able to experience the last decade in American history that was not completely engulfed in technology. My childhood was pool parties and wiffleball tournaments and chasing down the ice cream truck. Now a new generation of kids are arriving in this world and that sense of wonder has given way to entitlement. They expect a cell phone with a data plan by 3rd grade and a Facebook profile before they take their first step.

And I know it's not their fault; they don't know any different. So how do you explain the rest of the population? People older than me - who grew up in practically Amish households by comparison - have succumbed to the power of technology. Little boys who used to sword fight with sticks have grown up into businessmen with Blackberries permanently attached to their palms. Allow Louis CK to articulate it in the best possible way:

The only exception to this, of course, is parents. They were too busy changing diapers and watching Sesame Street to take part in the technological evolution. Some of them have caught on and can now send an e-mail with minimal supervision by their own children; others just can not get it together. From my perspective, all you need is a little practice and the memorization of one basic set of skills. "Open, save, delete, format, print" is to computers what "do, re, mi, fa, so" is to singing. Learn it and it's applicable to anything.

Having said all this, if there was a Technology Addicts Anonymous group, I'd be front row center. Not a day goes by that I don't use the Internet, Facebook, TV, my cell phone and my Kindle Fire. I revel in the amazing opportunities these gadgets offer us. People from all over the world are connected at lightning speeds. Soldiers can video chat with their families; I can text a message to someone across the country in no time at all; Anyone can stream HD episodes of their favorite TV show instantly.

It's the speed and the incredible access to information that astounds me the most. Think about it! No matter what my question is, I can find the answer in less than 20 seconds. Let’s say I want to know how much the average flamingo weighs when its born or Ryan Gosling’s favorite food... I can find out in the time it takes to finish this sentence. (FYI: 6 to 8 pounds, calamari)

I do love how connected everyone is. Though, I can't help but worry that we're losing our sense of human connection. With e-mails and Facebook and texting and Tweeting, communication is becoming so robotic and impersonal. Calls might as well be optional on cell phone plans now; everything's expressed in 160 characters or less. I'm surprised 9-1-1 dispatchers haven't set up a hotline for emergency texts. I feel like people are going to either lose social skills all together, go cross-eyed, or get Carpal Tunnel in their thumbs.