A Work in Progress

In high school, my typical lunch would consist of a half-pound of fries, three bags of French Onion Sun Chips, two packs of fruit snacks, and an Icy Lemonade. First of all, let us all take note: French fries are featured as the main entree. Secondly, I'm pretty convinced that, of all the atrocities listed, the worst offender is the lemonade. The business plan here must've been to take sugar cubes, dye them Easter Egg yellow and liquify them down to resemble something a lemon might have produced. And as predicted, I - and hundreds of my classmates - couldn't give two craps. After all, this Icy "Lemonade" went perfectly with white starchy carbs, salty seasoned chips, and everyone's favorite food colorings (Red #40 and Yellow #5) masquerading as fruit.

Since then, I have definitely become more health-conscious. I work out regularly and eat fairly healthy. But anyone who leads this type of lifestyle will tell you: consistency is impossible. Motivation comes in waves. It's like multiple personalities fighting for control. Here's a better description of the vicious cycle I've become accustomed to, complete with songs that best describe each phase:
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Phase One: 

"Who Run The World?" - Beyonce

I am Heidi Klum. I'm on top of the world. I feel great, I'm workin' it out and I'm loving life. Who doesn't love eating right and exercising??! Endorphins have replaced diamonds as my new best friends. (Though if we're talking about me specifically, diamonds would rank low on my list of favorite inanimate objects.)

Phase Two:  

"It’s My Life" – Bon Jovi

Screw this.

You only live once and I’ve got coupons to the Cheesecake Factory. Who's comin?

Phase Three: "Undo It"– Carrie Underwood

Shit. I can NOT believe I just did that. I just negated everything I’ve been working towards. Why would I put in all that time at the gym, then turn around and eat .... what was that thing I ate last night? Remember it had lots of cheese and oil and some kind of .... meat?? Quick! To the treadmills!

Phase Four: "I Hate This Part" – Pussycat Dolls

 

Why am I doing this again?? I’ve been running for an hour on a motorized rubber belt to nowhere. We're all a bunch of idiots. What happened to the fun games we used to play as kids? Maybe I’ll start an Adult Hide-and-Seek-Tag League. Or an Intramural Red Rover Tournament? No, really... screw this. I’m taking a leave of absence from the gym. Effective immediately.

Phase Five: "Push It" – Salt-n-Pepa

AAAHHHH!! Where's my I-Pod? Where's a sports bra! Get me to a gym! Double time!
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As I said, this cycle has continued for some time and I don't imagine it'll stop anytime soon. Unless my prayers for motivation are answered in the form of a personal trainer and lots of money for organic food. I wish Jillian Michaels would just show up on my doorstep with some free weights and a 5-Hour Energy. Or Billy Blanks from those old Tae-Bo VHS tapes. Or Forrest Gump's drill sergeant!

As a parting gift, I present to you my Top 5 List of Ultimate Running Songs:

5.)  "4Ever" – The Veronicas

4.)  "Power" – Kanye West

3.)  "More" - Usher

2.)  "Born For This" - Paramore

1.)  "Thnks fr th mmrs" – Fall Out Boy