Lessons Learned

Who doesn't love a good movie? Sometimes you leave one thinking "I never thought of it that way" or "Makes me appreciate what I have" or "Wow, what a waste of eleven bucks." True - not all movies can earn an Oscar or record ticket sales or.... any critical acclaim.

But they always have some sort of impact on you. At least for the duration of the walk back to the car. So I thought I'd take a minute and share the lessons that can be learned from some of the greatest films of our generation  movies on my bookshelf:

CLUE - If you're invited by a total stranger to a creepy mansion in the dead of night and asked to remain anonymous, maybe opt out.

LOVE ACTUALLY - If you're Severus Snape or President of the United States, you can be sleazy and adulterous. Other than that, love actually is all around.

DEVIL WEARS PRADA - If you want to be a good person with admirable character, do your own thing and follow your heart. If you want to be successful, be a bitch, stop eating and kiss everyone's ass.

KNOCKED UP - At the bar, stick with a water and lemon.

BRIDESMAIDS - Steer clear of Brazilian meat kabobs, airline scotch and the unmarked pills that bitch just gave you.

17 AGAIN - If you happen to see an elderly janitor jumping off a bridge, keep driving.

THE ISLAND - I won the lottery and a free trip to an island?? I'll pass.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 - If you're nervous about graduating high school, just lead your classmates in a song & dance number and everything will work itself out naturally.

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU - Let's all just be lesbians.

OCEAN'S ELEVEN - If you have Brad Pitt's jawline, you can rob a casino. Not a problem.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL - DRACULA MUSICAL!!!

EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE - Avoid llamas and anyone described as "scary beyond all reason". Learn to speak Squirrel.

INCEPTION - Don't fall asleep. Ever, ever again.

 
SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS - File for legal emancipation, move to Maui and call it a day.

FORREST GUMP - When you encounter obstacles in life, the best thing to do is run as hard as you can in the opposite direction.


STEP UP - Vandalism and janitorial work are the way to a woman's heart.

OFFICE SPACE - If you're looking to score a promotion at work, hit the snooze and stop showing up.

THE NOTEBOOK - Do Ryan Gosling and live happily ever after.